After 4½ years of hand drawing, the ForeverScape illustration is precisely 3234 doorknobs in length. Spanning about two football fields, every single page of all 735 sheets connect left-to-right. Arrange them vertically as well for optimal viewing in a tight space.
“It goes until I go”



ForeverScape Page 704ForeverScape Page 705ForeverScape Page 706ForeverScape Page 707ForeverScape Page 708


After 3.5 years of hand drawing, the ForeverScape illustration is precisely 113.24 Dick Cheneys in length. Left-to-right it spans about two football fields. The composite image below consists of 700 sheets of standard paper, arranged five pages across in each row.

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“The world's longest psychotropic landscape illustration. ”


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ForeverScape Page 306 chowchowsForeverScape Page 307 chowseForeverScape Page 308 chromatographForeverScape Page 309 chromatographiesForeverScape Page 310 chronographies
ForeverScape Page 311 chrysalidesForeverScape Page 312 chylificationForeverScape Page 313 circiterForeverScape Page 314 circumlocutionistForeverScape Page 315 circumnavigates
ForeverScape Page 316 circumscissileForeverScape Page 317 cirriForeverScape Page 318 citralForeverScape Page 319 clampedForeverScape Page 320 clarsachs
ForeverScape Page 321 clartsForeverScape Page 322 clepsydraForeverScape Page 323 clerkshipForeverScape Page 324 clevernessForeverScape Page 325 cloches
ForeverScape Page 326 clueForeverScape Page 327 coadmitsForeverScape Page 328 coaevalsForeverScape Page 329 coauthoringForeverScape Page 330 cockleboats
ForeverScape Page 331 coconsciousForeverScape Page 332 cohabitationalForeverScape Page 333 cohobatedForeverScape Page 334 coldnessesForeverScape Page 335 cole
ForeverScape Page 336 collateralizedForeverScape Page 337 collegiallyForeverScape Page 338 collieshangieForeverScape Page 339 colubridsForeverScape Page 340 commendablenesses
ForeverScape Page 341 commendationsForeverScape Page 342 commercialisticForeverScape Page 343 commitForeverScape Page 344 communeForeverScape Page 345 compactible
ForeverScape Page 346 companyingForeverScape Page 347 compassionableForeverScape Page 348 complainantsForeverScape Page 349 comprehensibilityForeverScape Page 350 computerate
ForeverScape Page 351 conceptualizationForeverScape Page 352 concreteForeverScape Page 353 concubitantForeverScape Page 354 condyleForeverScape Page 355 confer
ForeverScape Page 356 confessionalsForeverScape Page 357 confidentialnessForeverScape Page 358 confrontationistsForeverScape Page 359 conglutinatedForeverScape Page 360 conjoin
ForeverScape Page 361 conjuresForeverScape Page 362 consecratorForeverScape Page 363 consociationsForeverScape Page 364 conspiratorForeverScape Page 365 conspire
ForeverScape Page 366 consternatingForeverScape Page 367 constitutingForeverScape Page 368 construersForeverScape Page 369 contactForeverScape Page 370 contrabassos
ForeverScape Page 371 contractingForeverScape Page 372 contrariouslyForeverScape Page 373 convolutedlyForeverScape Page 374 copperplateForeverScape Page 375 cordiform
ForeverScape Page 376 coremiaForeverScape Page 377 cornutoForeverScape Page 378 coronationsForeverScape Page 379 coronersForeverScape Page 380 corporeally
ForeverScape Page 381 corymboseForeverScape Page 382 cosecsForeverScape Page 383 cottonwoodForeverScape Page 384 coulometersForeverScape Page 385 coulées
ForeverScape Page 386 counterstepForeverScape Page 387 countersteppingForeverScape Page 388 cowcatcherForeverScape Page 389 cozesForeverScape Page 390 craftless
ForeverScape Page 391 craftspeopleForeverScape Page 392 cranberryForeverScape Page 393 cravattingForeverScape Page 394 craziesForeverScape Page 395 credibly
ForeverScape Page 396 creophagousForeverScape Page 397 crispedForeverScape Page 398 crispinsForeverScape Page 399 critForeverScape Page 400 crocked
ForeverScape Page 401 cropsForeverScape Page 402 ctenophoransForeverScape Page 403 culpaeForeverScape Page 404 cultigensForeverScape Page 405 culvert
ForeverScape Page 406 cupbearersForeverScape Page 407 curanderoForeverScape Page 408 curlpaperForeverScape Page 409 currantyForeverScape Page 410 cursing
ForeverScape Page 411 custodesForeverScape Page 412 cycloidsForeverScape Page 413 cyclopsesForeverScape Page 414 cystitisForeverScape Page 415 cytoskeleton
ForeverScape Page 416 cytoskeletonsForeverScape Page 417 cytosolicForeverScape Page 418 daddockForeverScape Page 419 daffinessForeverScape Page 420 daguerreotyped
ForeverScape Page 421 damnabilityForeverScape Page 422 dampensForeverScape Page 423 darkenerForeverScape Page 424 darnationsForeverScape Page 425 dawks
ForeverScape Page 426 dawtingForeverScape Page 427 daytimesForeverScape Page 428 deadliftForeverScape Page 429 debelForeverScape Page 430 decapodous
ForeverScape Page 431 decenaryForeverScape Page 432 decerebratedForeverScape Page 433 decerebratingForeverScape Page 434 decerebrizesForeverScape Page 435 decker
ForeverScape Page 436 deconstructionsForeverScape Page 437 decorForeverScape Page 438 decrementsForeverScape Page 439 decurionsForeverScape Page 440 dedicator
ForeverScape Page 441 defiladingForeverScape Page 442 deforcesForeverScape Page 443 degenerationsForeverScape Page 444 dehydrogenateForeverScape Page 445 demersions
ForeverScape Page 446 democratizingForeverScape Page 447 denForeverScape Page 448 denotedForeverScape Page 449 deoxygenizingForeverScape Page 450 depravedly
ForeverScape Page 451 deratesForeverScape Page 452 derisiveForeverScape Page 453 dermestidsForeverScape Page 454 dermsForeverScape Page 455 desegregations
ForeverScape Page 456 desiderationsForeverScape Page 457 designatoryForeverScape Page 458 desirabilitiesForeverScape Page 459 detectibleForeverScape Page 460 deterrence
ForeverScape Page 461 detestablyForeverScape Page 462 detonatedForeverScape Page 463 detortionsForeverScape Page 464 deuteroplasmsForeverScape Page 465 devoirs
ForeverScape Page 466 devourersForeverScape Page 467 dexteritiesForeverScape Page 468 dialogisticalForeverScape Page 469 diastyleForeverScape Page 470 dichogamous
ForeverScape Page 471 dichondraForeverScape Page 472 diesinkerForeverScape Page 473 diffusenessesForeverScape Page 474 digitizedForeverScape Page 475 diglossic
ForeverScape Page 476 digramsForeverScape Page 477 digraphsForeverScape Page 478 diluteeForeverScape Page 479 diluviumsForeverScape Page 480 dinitrophenols
ForeverScape Page 481 diplomaticalForeverScape Page 482 dirlsForeverScape Page 483 disaffectionateForeverScape Page 484 disanchorsForeverScape Page 485 disappropriate
ForeverScape Page 486 disarticulatorsForeverScape Page 487 discomposesForeverScape Page 488 disconsiderForeverScape Page 489 discreditableForeverScape Page 490 discriminated
ForeverScape Page 491 discureForeverScape Page 492 disempowermentForeverScape Page 493 disenrollingForeverScape Page 494 disenrolsForeverScape Page 495 dishumouring
ForeverScape Page 496 disinheritForeverScape Page 497 dismalnessForeverScape Page 498 dismanningForeverScape Page 499 dismaskingForeverScape Page 500 disobligations
ForeverScape Page 501 dispensatoriesForeverScape Page 502 dispeopledForeverScape Page 503 disquantityForeverScape Page 504 disrememberedForeverScape Page 505 disrober
ForeverScape Page 506 dissForeverScape Page 507 disseminateForeverScape Page 508 distemperingForeverScape Page 509 distraintsForeverScape Page 510 disulphuret
ForeverScape Page 511 diversityForeverScape Page 512 docketingForeverScape Page 513 doctorialForeverScape Page 514 doctrinairismsForeverScape Page 515 doddering
ForeverScape Page 516 doestForeverScape Page 517 doggednessForeverScape Page 518 dogleggedForeverScape Page 519 dolefullerForeverScape Page 520 donkeyman
ForeverScape Page 521 doobForeverScape Page 522 doodlebugForeverScape Page 523 doubtingsForeverScape Page 524 doughfaceForeverScape Page 525 dowerless
ForeverScape Page 526 dramaturgicalForeverScape Page 527 dreadfulnessesForeverScape Page 528 dreamForeverScape Page 529 dregginessForeverScape Page 530 dromons
ForeverScape Page 531 droopForeverScape Page 532 druidismForeverScape Page 533 dryestForeverScape Page 534 dullestForeverScape Page 535 dumortierites
ForeverScape Page 536 duniticForeverScape Page 537 dunnartsForeverScape Page 538 dupeForeverScape Page 539 duplicitousnessesForeverScape Page 540 ealdorman
ForeverScape Page 541 earthiestForeverScape Page 542 ebbtideForeverScape Page 543 ebullioscopicallyForeverScape Page 544 ecclesiasticallyForeverScape Page 545 echocardiographers
ForeverScape Page 546 eclosesForeverScape Page 547 econutsForeverScape Page 548 educesForeverScape Page 549 eightForeverScape Page 550 eisweins
ForeverScape Page 551 elaborationsForeverScape Page 552 electroForeverScape Page 553 electroballisticsForeverScape Page 554 electrocardiographyForeverScape Page 555 electroshocks
ForeverScape Page 556 eleemosynaryForeverScape Page 557 elegiesForeverScape Page 558 elenchForeverScape Page 559 elutorForeverScape Page 560 embrues
ForeverScape Page 561 emissaryForeverScape Page 562 emphracticsForeverScape Page 563 empyreumaticalForeverScape Page 564 emulsifiableForeverScape Page 565 enacted
ForeverScape Page 566 enantiomorphyForeverScape Page 567 enaunterForeverScape Page 568 encolorsForeverScape Page 569 encriniteForeverScape Page 570 encyclopedical
ForeverScape Page 571 endamagesForeverScape Page 572 endeicticForeverScape Page 573 endnoteForeverScape Page 574 enfeoffmentsForeverScape Page 575 enforesting
ForeverScape Page 576 engiscopeForeverScape Page 577 engoûmentForeverScape Page 578 enhancersForeverScape Page 579 enlistersForeverScape Page 580 enophiles
ForeverScape Page 581 enounceForeverScape Page 582 enregimentsForeverScape Page 583 enrichedForeverScape Page 584 ensampleForeverScape Page 585 ensepulcherring
ForeverScape Page 586 enshieldForeverScape Page 587 ensorceledForeverScape Page 588 entablaturesForeverScape Page 589 entheticForeverScape Page 590 entomophily
ForeverScape Page 591 entropyForeverScape Page 592 entryistForeverScape Page 593 enwombedForeverScape Page 594 enzonedForeverScape Page 595 epaulements
ForeverScape Page 596 epideicticForeverScape Page 597 epistemicForeverScape Page 598 epistolaryForeverScape Page 599 epitaphicForeverScape Page 600 equable
ForeverScape Page 601 erodiumsForeverScape Page 602 eruditionForeverScape Page 603 eruptForeverScape Page 604 espumosoForeverScape Page 605 esses
ForeverScape Page 606 eternizeForeverScape Page 607 etheristForeverScape Page 608 etherizationsForeverScape Page 609 eukaryotsForeverScape Page 610 eurypterids
ForeverScape Page 611 evaporitesForeverScape Page 612 evejarsForeverScape Page 613 evictorForeverScape Page 614 evinciveForeverScape Page 615 exabytes
ForeverScape Page 616 excavationsForeverScape Page 617 exceedForeverScape Page 618 excimerForeverScape Page 619 excisingForeverScape Page 620 excrescence
ForeverScape Page 621 exerciseForeverScape Page 622 exeuntForeverScape Page 623 exhortingForeverScape Page 624 exhumerForeverScape Page 625 exocrine
ForeverScape Page 626 exosmosisForeverScape Page 627 exothermicallyForeverScape Page 628 expanseForeverScape Page 629 expedientsForeverScape Page 630 expendable
ForeverScape Page 631 expensiveForeverScape Page 632 exposingForeverScape Page 633 expressoForeverScape Page 634 expunctForeverScape Page 635 extender
ForeverScape Page 636 exterminatingForeverScape Page 637 extirpatesForeverScape Page 638 extrudabilitiesForeverScape Page 639 facilitationForeverScape Page 640 facilitative
ForeverScape Page 641 facingsForeverScape Page 642 faintheartednessForeverScape Page 643 fairerForeverScape Page 644 fairytalesForeverScape Page 645 falculas
ForeverScape Page 646 fantasticalitiesForeverScape Page 647 farmerForeverScape Page 648 farrowsForeverScape Page 649 fashiousForeverScape Page 650 fattenings
ForeverScape Page 651 faubourgsForeverScape Page 652 faughForeverScape Page 653 felteredForeverScape Page 654 fermentabilitiesForeverScape Page 655 ferrying
ForeverScape Page 656 fervenciesForeverScape Page 657 fetaForeverScape Page 658 fetialesForeverScape Page 659 fettererForeverScape Page 660 fezzed
ForeverScape Page 661 filfotForeverScape Page 662 finagleForeverScape Page 663 finishForeverScape Page 664 finitenessesForeverScape Page 665 firearm
ForeverScape Page 666 firepinkForeverScape Page 667 fishesForeverScape Page 668 fivepenceForeverScape Page 669 flakinessesForeverScape Page 670 flameproof
ForeverScape Page 671 flashForeverScape Page 672 fleshyForeverScape Page 673 flippestForeverScape Page 674 flooredForeverScape Page 675 flouter
ForeverScape Page 676 flowForeverScape Page 677 fluctuateForeverScape Page 678 fluorineForeverScape Page 679 fodgelForeverScape Page 680 folklorish
ForeverScape Page 681 foosForeverScape Page 682 footballerForeverScape Page 683 footwarmerForeverScape Page 684 foraminifersForeverScape Page 685 forceful
ForeverScape Page 686 forcipesForeverScape Page 687 forejudgeForeverScape Page 688 forestallersForeverScape Page 689 forgivablyForeverScape Page 690 forsooth
ForeverScape Page 691 fortunetellerForeverScape Page 692 foundationsForeverScape Page 693 foxesForeverScape Page 694 franciumForeverScape Page 695 franklinites
ForeverScape Page 696 freelancerForeverScape Page 697 freeloaderForeverScape Page 698 fremitusForeverScape Page 699 frequentersForeverScape Page 700 fuelers
ForeverScape Page 701 fundingsForeverScape Page 702 furlanaForeverScape Page 703 furlersForeverScape Page 704 fuseesForeverScape Page 705 gabbroitic
ForeverScape Page 706 gaddisForeverScape Page 707 gadroonForeverScape Page 708 gahnitesForeverScape Page 709 gainersForeverScape Page 710 gainlessness
ForeverScape Page 711 gallabiahForeverScape Page 712 gallateForeverScape Page 713 galvanicallyForeverScape Page 714 ganseysForeverScape Page 715 garments
ForeverScape Page 716 garotterForeverScape Page 717 garvockForeverScape Page 718 gazetteerishForeverScape Page 719 geeForeverScape Page 720 geisha
ForeverScape Page 721 gendarmeForeverScape Page 722 gentlemanlyForeverScape Page 723 gerenukForeverScape Page 724 germanenessForeverScape Page 725 germiest
ForeverScape Page 726 ghastlierForeverScape Page 727 gibbonForeverScape Page 728 gilasForeverScape Page 729 giraffeForeverScape Page 730 glamoring
ForeverScape Page 731 glockenspielForeverScape Page 732 glossectomyForeverScape Page 733 gloutsForeverScape Page 734 gluconeogenesesForeverScape Page 735 glyceraldehyde
ForeverScape 1 abridgerForeverScape 2 absolvableForeverScape 3 acanthaeForeverScape 4 accidentalityForeverScape 5 acetylations
ForeverScape 6 achenialForeverScape 7 achinglyForeverScape 8 acidimetriesForeverScape 9 acknowledgeablyForeverScape 10 acnodes
ForeverScape 11 acquitsForeverScape 12 acrylicForeverScape 13 addaxForeverScape 14 additamentForeverScape 15 adieu
ForeverScape 16 adjusterForeverScape 17 adoralForeverScape 18 adrenochromeForeverScape 19 adsorbableForeverScape 20 adventuresses
ForeverScape 21 adversativeForeverScape 22 aedineForeverScape 23 aerierForeverScape 24 aerobiologyForeverScape 25 affect
ForeverScape 26 affiancesForeverScape 27 afterswarmsForeverScape 28 agameteForeverScape 29 aggrandizesForeverScape 30 aglimmer
ForeverScape 31 agluForeverScape 32 aglyconForeverScape 33 ahhsForeverScape 34 aidlessForeverScape 35 aiglets
ForeverScape 36 airportForeverScape 37 aislewayForeverScape 38 aitsForeverScape 39 alembicationForeverScape 40 alerces
ForeverScape 41 allotropousForeverScape 42 allusivenessesForeverScape 43 amalgamationsForeverScape 44 ambariesForeverScape 45 amberina
ForeverScape 46 amenorrheicForeverScape 47 amercersForeverScape 48 amnionsForeverScape 49 amperageForeverScape 50 amphibiousnesses
ForeverScape 51 amphistylarForeverScape 52 amphitheatresForeverScape 53 ampullosityForeverScape 54 anaForeverScape 55 anchorhold
ForeverScape 56 anchoriticForeverScape 57 androgynousForeverScape 58 anemographiesForeverScape 59 angiotensinsForeverScape 60 angledozers
ForeverScape 61 angwantiboForeverScape 62 anilsForeverScape 63 annunciationForeverScape 64 anonForeverScape 65 antarctic
ForeverScape 66 anthraquinonesForeverScape 67 antifederalForeverScape 68 antimatterForeverScape 69 antiquatesForeverScape 70 antiquities
ForeverScape 71 antishockForeverScape 72 antismokeForeverScape 73 apartnessForeverScape 74 apelikeForeverScape 75 apimania
ForeverScape 76 apocalypticForeverScape 77 appreciationForeverScape 78 appressoriaForeverScape 79 apsarasesForeverScape 80 aquatone
ForeverScape 81 archaizesForeverScape 82 archfiendForeverScape 83 arctophileForeverScape 84 arefactionForeverScape 85 argon
ForeverScape 86 armamentariumsForeverScape 87 armerForeverScape 88 armipotentForeverScape 89 armisticeForeverScape 90 armorers
ForeverScape 91 aromatherapiesForeverScape 92 arousersForeverScape 93 arraysForeverScape 94 arterializesForeverScape 95 arteriography
ForeverScape 96 artsierForeverScape 97 asceticalForeverScape 98 ascomycetousForeverScape 99 ashyForeverScape 100 aspartame
ForeverScape 101 asphodelsForeverScape 102 assailerForeverScape 103 assimilativeForeverScape 104 assistantshipForeverScape 105 assonances
ForeverScape 106 astragalusForeverScape 107 astrictsForeverScape 108 astrochemistryForeverScape 109 asynchronouslyForeverScape 110 atresic
ForeverScape 111 atrociousnessesForeverScape 112 attestationForeverScape 113 attornedForeverScape 114 auraeForeverScape 115 aurifies
ForeverScape 116 aurochsesForeverScape 117 autolyzateForeverScape 118 autotetraploidiesForeverScape 119 autoxidationsForeverScape 120 auxin
ForeverScape 121 avdpForeverScape 122 aviateForeverScape 123 awarderForeverScape 124 axelForeverScape 125 baases
ForeverScape 126 bacharachForeverScape 127 backbenchForeverScape 128 backhaulingForeverScape 129 badgingForeverScape 130 baignoire
ForeverScape 131 bailiffshipForeverScape 132 balaclavaForeverScape 133 balladmongersForeverScape 134 balladriesForeverScape 135 ballyragging
ForeverScape 136 banausianForeverScape 137 bandoleonForeverScape 138 bandrolForeverScape 139 bandyleggedForeverScape 140 banjoists
ForeverScape 141 barberingForeverScape 142 bargingForeverScape 143 barleymowForeverScape 144 barmbracksForeverScape 145 barquette
ForeverScape 146 barrancaForeverScape 147 barrelForeverScape 148 basebandForeverScape 149 baselessnessesForeverScape 150 bashliks
ForeverScape 151 basifixedForeverScape 152 bassistForeverScape 153 batfowlsForeverScape 154 bathyscapesForeverScape 155 bazars
ForeverScape 156 bearableForeverScape 157 beaucoupsForeverScape 158 beboppedForeverScape 159 becurledForeverScape 160 becursed
ForeverScape 161 bedightingForeverScape 162 bedrenchingForeverScape 163 beefaloForeverScape 164 beefwoodForeverScape 165 befouls
ForeverScape 166 befringeForeverScape 167 beholdsForeverScape 168 beignesForeverScape 169 belchersForeverScape 170 beltways
ForeverScape 171 benchersForeverScape 172 benchershipForeverScape 173 benzidinForeverScape 174 bequeathmentsForeverScape 175 besticking
ForeverScape 176 betelnutsForeverScape 177 bethanksForeverScape 178 bettingsForeverScape 179 bibleForeverScape 180 biblioclast
ForeverScape 181 bibliographiesForeverScape 182 bigamistsForeverScape 183 biggingsForeverScape 184 billetsForeverScape 185 binal
ForeverScape 186 bizzesForeverScape 187 blamesForeverScape 188 blemishersForeverScape 189 bletForeverScape 190 bloodstocks
ForeverScape 191 bloodthirstiestForeverScape 192 bloomeriesForeverScape 193 blumingForeverScape 194 bluntedForeverScape 195 blvd
ForeverScape 196 bo's'nForeverScape 197 boatbuildingForeverScape 198 boheaForeverScape 199 bohemiansForeverScape 200 bolixed
ForeverScape 201 bondservantsForeverScape 202 bonksForeverScape 203 boocooForeverScape 204 borderlandsForeverScape 205 boreholes
ForeverScape 206 bottleheadForeverScape 207 boubousForeverScape 208 boukForeverScape 209 bowelsForeverScape 210 boylas
ForeverScape 211 brabblersForeverScape 212 brachiopodForeverScape 213 brambliestForeverScape 214 breakdancesForeverScape 215 breakdancing
ForeverScape 216 brewstersForeverScape 217 briefestForeverScape 218 brigandForeverScape 219 brightnessesForeverScape 220 brill
ForeverScape 221 brilliantinesForeverScape 222 brimfulnessForeverScape 223 brinkmanshipsForeverScape 224 broadcasterForeverScape 225 broadener
ForeverScape 226 brokingForeverScape 227 broolForeverScape 228 browseForeverScape 229 bruitsForeverScape 230 buckhorns
ForeverScape 231 buckosForeverScape 232 buffaloberriesForeverScape 233 bulbousnessForeverScape 234 bullhornsForeverScape 235 bullishly
ForeverScape 236 bullockyForeverScape 237 bulwarksForeverScape 238 buncoingForeverScape 239 burnishingForeverScape 240 busied
ForeverScape 241 busloadForeverScape 242 butterflyingForeverScape 243 cablevisionForeverScape 244 cachexiaForeverScape 245 cacodyls
ForeverScape 246 cacogastricForeverScape 247 cadencesForeverScape 248 cahowForeverScape 249 caimacamsForeverScape 250 cajones
ForeverScape 251 calculatesForeverScape 252 calderasForeverScape 253 calligramForeverScape 254 callusingForeverScape 255 calomel
ForeverScape 256 campanaForeverScape 257 canalizationsForeverScape 258 candidForeverScape 259 candleholderForeverScape 260 canine
ForeverScape 261 cankerousForeverScape 262 cannulaeForeverScape 263 capitolsForeverScape 264 caprifigForeverScape 265 caravaner
ForeverScape 266 carbonadoedForeverScape 267 cardcasesForeverScape 268 carkingForeverScape 269 carrotsForeverScape 270 carrying
ForeverScape 271 cartelizesForeverScape 272 cartulariesForeverScape 273 carucatesForeverScape 274 caseosesForeverScape 275 cashaw
ForeverScape 276 castellationForeverScape 277 catchphrasesForeverScape 278 catchupForeverScape 279 catnapForeverScape 280 cawed
ForeverScape 281 cementitiousForeverScape 282 centrolecithalForeverScape 283 centrosymmetricForeverScape 284 ceriasForeverScape 285 certificates
ForeverScape 286 chagriningForeverScape 287 challasForeverScape 288 chamberingsForeverScape 289 chaperonageForeverScape 290 charpoys
ForeverScape 291 chelonianForeverScape 292 chemitypiesForeverScape 293 cherupingForeverScape 294 chicaForeverScape 295 chicaneries
ForeverScape 296 chickpeaForeverScape 297 childbedForeverScape 298 childproofingForeverScape 299 chiliarchyForeverScape 300 chloracne
ForeverScape 301 chloritizationsForeverScape 302 chockosForeverScape 303 cholecystokininsForeverScape 304 choomForeverScape 305 choppily



FROM THE 3-DAY NOVEL CONTEST, LABOR DAY WEEKEND 2009 (c) All Images, Writing by Vance Feldman all rights reserved.
light on the horizon, I felt the cold metal of the door handle in my right hand. I knew the sandblasted glass had a well balanced representation of wild bamboo stenciled on its surface. I wish I could go back to the day of stonecutters. I mean before these locals show up to chisel Rocks for a retaining wall that faces these mute-colored yet glossy cars. They are out there every morning at seven. Most of my neighbors are in their late twenties. Many, I imagine are bartenders, hostesses or strippers. They don?t like the noise this early. I stand on my porch, my back porch. It stands up high overlooking a parking lot that has been empty for years. I get a kick out of it when they tow the occasional car at one in the morning. They park in the lot and go to the bar next door not realizing that the Sergeant?s Towing Company, LLC is lurking in the dark backstreets, waiting for the next prey. Usually they illegally hitch-up the car and pull it around the corner before popping the lock to tie down the steering wheel so the car doesn?t wobble on the street. Now its full of dumptrucks. ?Why do you do it?? She asked me outside of the Lebanese joint. They had fermented ketchup on every table. And it was far more delicious than Ho Ho?s. I ate at Ho Ho?s Dollar Scoop maybe twice a week. They closed down so the new hangout was in front of the Lebanese Place. Mere used to work in the shop a couple units down. She must have increased their business at least threefold. I know I bought a Biscotti I really had no intention of eating, many a time. A month later I was browsing the Denver Post and noticed an article about the shutdown of Ho Ho?s. Apparently my cohorts and I had regularly eaten a pound of cat the entire semester. My cat was safe except he was missing the ability to ejaculate properly, however he probably didn?t miss it. It was ninety-eight degrees and one hundred percent humidity in Miami. I saw Strato-Cumulus thunder clouds hovering offshore as the plane made its final descent. In my arms was a computer the size of which nobody had the business of carrying on the plane. We had spent 400 dollars on a sturdy Pelican travel case for the computer. But the two combined would have ?strained the workers? backs.? I ended up carrying the computer through security like some backwoods dipshit. The hotel was in the distance? my arms were about to give out. I tried to set the bulky CPU case down on the sidewalk gently, but it slipped and scratched the bottom handle. I?m still not sure why this Santa was not sweaty. I did the control valve version of a double-take. In full Santa garb, this man sat on a park bench, a green-painted steel park bench in the concrete-laden strip of South Beach. Pillow on his stomach, boots on his feet and a felty hat?yet not a single bead of sweat. I leaned down and kicked the computer case up with the counterweight of my back. As soon as I cought it he sat up from his drunken sun-drenched bliss and exclaimed, ?One Day!? Chapter 3: Saw Sparks It was two hours until Dom?s dentist appointment. I had just embarrassingly hung up the phone with my grandmother. I had suggested the entire family have a ?naked party.? Immediately Dom slapped me with his left hand. ?Dude! What the fuckin? Christ?? I hung up very quickly?in fact I don?t remember doing so. I brushed that off and continued to hypnotize him with the fresnel lens from an overhead projector. I suspended it from a wire, it was pinned to the wire with a large black document paper clip. On the end of that wire was a dissected toy from my childhood. I think the idea was to let the vibrator in the pen?s cavity, opposite of the tip, take control of your creative juices and let the uninhibited mind make off with your intellectual desire to filter most primal urge, to create. But what fucking seven year old gives a shit about the higher level operations of the brain, let alone care why their god damned pen was vibrating in the first place or why the white girl on the television set convinced his mother to buy a vibrating piece of shit? Nonetheless, this vibrating piece of shit made a damn good hypnotic device when attached to a fresnel lens in front of a burning hippy candle. This vibrating purple pen had one mission in life: PREVENT DOM FROM GOING TO THE DENTIST AT ALL COSTS Needless to say, getting hit square between the eyes with a brick-message not to see the dentist?he didn?t. This was the second known instance of a human becoming addicted to something his body was unable to detect. The same thing happened about four billion years ago to the earth. Just sparks between tiny rocks floating in space?these creatures were completely undetectable by the simple inert compounds. Here in the sea of strong and weak forces they escaped detection. Just like the constant flow of lysergic acid supplied to this Dairy Queen sundae attendant, the particles went undetected, yet the simple matter suddenly found itself in the form of complex protein strains. These tiny yet indecipherably confusing carbon chains ultimately prevented the dental work that was necessary from Being Performed. The trucker that killed Mere flew to her service in Colorado from New Zealand. So did ten villagers that only knew her for four days. So did Jane Fonda, though they didn?t speak much. All the way to Seaside we saw sparks in the power lines. This was a normal phenomenon as the salinity in the coastal air made the water a great conductor of electricity. Some forms of life make easy business of electricity. To them it is like early man when he held up a rock and said to the beast with a stone in his hand: I HAVE A FUCKING ROCK ON A STICK. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? Cro-Magnon didn?t stand a chance against our most brutal ways. Jerod met a brutal fate close to that of our friend Cro-Magnon. TO his parents he might have well been a chimp swinging frokm the trees. We were 12 and shared a bus stop. It picked us up at the grade school. Rainbow letters with trails spelled, ?welcome!?, ?willkomen!? , ?¡bienvenidos!? ?Why don?t you just smoke the whole cigarette?? Jerod had noticed my tendency to only smoke half a cigarette and rub it out on the oak tree right before the bus came. His demise was a swifter demise than I will take. It was a Saturday morning. It was four AM. It was a cold Denver night. Jerod had seen his time with the garden over. Like the Nude Saint, he sat motionless in the middle of Interstate 70 just past the Purina Dog Chow Factory my grandfather wired for electrical forty years prior. This was the same horsemeat processing plant that used to emit the foul stench of horse anus every morning?it drifted into our classroom. It was our coffee. Grandpa said, ?Yeah, after about ten minutes you don?t notice the smell anymore.? I had to use what little of the valve I had left to see this for myself. It was four O one AM. Jerod sat full lotus stark naked with a smile bigger tha?well, is it more important how big the smile or how far the effects of the smile are felt? Anyhow, it was a big fuckin? smile. He was decapitated at four O four AM. In Mandarin the number four is a homonym for death. I?ve never been the same since my grandfather four. OR Yeah, take the elevator to the death floor, its room death-eleven. My grandfather always said he was going to four. He did not speak or read a single word of English. I called him Gong Gong. Always he said, ?Wo men de Jiu Cai shi tai lao.? He said this to me while holding a knife. I eventually learned that what he was really saying was that the Onion Grass in the yard was too old to make a tasty dish?it was worn out from the season. If I had known that when I was two, it would have made me sad. My mother frantically rushed home. I was going to die. ?Ta Bu Chi Fan!? Screamed Gong Gong into her phone. As far as she was concerned, I was diarrheic and not eating. Gong Gong had gambled his life savings from General Cheng Kai-Shek?s campaign against Mao on Mahjongg and Pool. He left my mom in an orphanage where they stole her shoes. I found this notebook while doing a routine storage unit cleanout of an orange Public Storage unit. I worked for GOT JUNK which is surprisingly not an international heroin franchise. In this particular unit a story formed, almost too cohesively for me to admit. Clue One: the owner of this $6/month storage unit has defaulted for three years. Clue Two: Yearbooks revealed an upstanding Christian youth in private school. Clue Three: There was a plastic bong. Clue Four: There was a box of muscle building magazines. Clue Five: There was a bench press in the corner. Clue Six: There were pictures of him kissing other men. Clue Seven: There was a box full of estrogen and shaping pantyhose. Conclusion: An oppressed Christian boy discovered pot and henceforth bodybuilding. The buildup of hormones made him homosexual and his Christian guilt made him slit his wrists after he finally became a woman. Clue Eight: the opening page of this notebook reads: LIFE: The Expensive Opinion DEATH: The Cheap Compliment Unrelated Clue Drafted By The Gentleman Next To Me: Mysterious paper substance found in dishwasher filter; and a sticky goo under faucet lip.